Ending 2020 with No Regrets

Soft Metal is a cutting energy.  It can bring self harm to cutters and the suicidal.  Cutting remarks from those who choose to hurt with their words.  Cutting people who lack morals, engage in unethical behavior and don't share our values, out of our lives.  And cutting our losses when closing a chapter or ending a cycle, to continue moving forward.

It can also encourage us to cut ourselves some slack.  Show ourselves some compassion.  Learn the life lessons.  Forgive ourselves.  Value, respect and honor ourselves.  Make peace with our past.  See every experience as an invaluable contribution to who we became in the process.  And live a life with no regrets.

The Annual 7 energy we've hosted in the center of our lives all year, brings thoughts and feelings of regret.  This visiting energy asks us to take full responsibility for our energy and how we contributed to creating our life experiences, receive the lesson as a gift, appreciate this co-creation with our True Self and the people in our lives and stop beating ourselves up.

Each of The 8 Elements has a different process for releasing regret that is based in their highest values and unique human expression.

The first cut is the deepest.

Cat Stevens

Our first experience that brings up a feeling of regret can be traumatizing.  Many times the first cut is a shock to the naive or innocent, the trusting and caring, loyal and loving.  Other times regret comes from making false assumptions about people, having uncommunicated expectations in relationships or thinking well of people who haven't yet had a opportunity to earn our trust and respect. 

If we don't completely heal from the deep cut that hurts our feelings, betrays our trust, breaks our heart or destroys our lives, the wound keeps bleeding.  These wounded people walk through life with a victim mentality and continue to attract more experiences that match their energy...traumatized and wounded victims.  

You can always tell who these people are.  They lead with their trauma.  They blame others.  They connect with people's pain bodies.  They show you their wounds.  They tell you their sad story.  They identity as a victim or survivor.

A healed person will talk about what they learned about life and people and themselves.  They will share their healing journey and tell others they can heal themselves too.  They will honor themselves, their needs and their boundaries.  They will do the inner work and take responsibility for their own personal wellbeing.

If 2020 was traumatizing, or disappointing, or something in between, you can release the regret.  Regret that you didn't get to have more fun or hang out with your friends.  Regret that you didn't get to travel or go on your vacation.  Regret that you didn't get to check all the boxes on your to do lists.  Regret that you didn't accomplish everything on your annual goals list.  Regret that you didn't do enough, or do better, or do more.  Regret that you squandered your time or misused your energy.  Regret that you lost your business or job or house or life savings.  Regret that you finished Netflix but didn't read a single book.  Regret that you slept in or didn't exercise or didn't honor your needs for self care or weren't consistent with your morning or evening routines.  Regret that the stress ended your marriage or created health issues, caused family drama or affected your children's education and wellbeing.

The 8 Elements Regrets

Water elements trust people.  People who betray their trust never fail to disappoint them.  They regret oversharing and over-giving to people who lack honor and integrity and take instead of receive and express appreciation.

Mother Earth elements love people unconditionally.  Partners never fail to love them back the same way. They regret loving people who cannot love without conditions and who enter into relationships to meet other needs. 

Hard Wood elements genuinely care about people.  Family members never fail to hurt them by not caring about them as much as they care.  They regret being as thoughtful and kind to people who are not thoughtful and unkind.

Soft Wood elements are loyal to their nuclear family.  Spouses who cheat, even emotionally, never fail to hurt them with their disloyalty.  They eventually come to regret staying in unhappy marriages "for the kids", appearances or stability and mourn the years they will never get back.

Hard Metal elements admire other leaders and show them respect.  Their inner circle never fails to lose their respect when they mess up, don't measure up or don't step up.  They regret being so generous with their offers of help, advice and guidance, resources and gifts.

Soft Metal elements like people.  The friends in their social circles who don't think like they do never fail to meet their standards of ethics and excellence. They regret liking and extending their friendship to people who reveal their unpopular opinions and interesting pov, especially on social media posts, comments and likes.

Mountain Earth elements accept and include people, just the way they are.  Members of their tribe who judge them, never fail to make them feel unaccepted and excluded.  They regret doing life or making plans to go through life with them.

Fire elements believe in people.  The people who don't live up to their own potential never fail to reaffirm their doubt that humanity will be able to mature, evolve and become enlightened.  They regret the energy they put into having faith in humanity.

Releasing Regret

The next few weeks is the perfect period of time to do a Life Review, not just for this past year, but for every area of your life up until now.  Ask what has worked for you, what is still working and what no longer works.  Re-examine your thoughts and beliefs.  Re-evaluate what matters to you and what your intentions are moving forward.  Clear stored emotions and memories from traumatic experiences at the cellular and even quantum levels.  Heal.  And release the regrets.

Trust Yourself

Water - Show yourself some compassion. Find your inner peace and tap into your inner wisdom. Get still enough to reflect. Let the murky mud and muck settle so you can regain your clarity. When you are ready, get back into your flow state and continue contributing your energy, as guided. People may not be worthy of your trust but YOU can always trust yourself.

Love Yourself

Mother Earth - Love what is. And learn the lessons life has for your soul's growth and personal development. You are worth the work required to become a better human and embody the highest version of you. Love yourself so YOU can be the love you want to see in the world and love every aspect and every moment of your life.

Forgive Yourself

Hard Wood - Care about yourself enough to let go of the anger and resentment, rage and bitterness. Vigilantly holding onto those low vibe emotions won't protect you from something unfair happening again. It just hurts you and diminishes the health of your body. Don't wait for the apology that may never come. Forgive the people who hurt and mistreated you. Forgive yourself for letting what they did or didn't do keep your energy from raising and expanding and YOU from growing and thriving.

Value Yourself

Soft Wood - YOU are your own most valuable player. Members of your team will come and go. But there is no one like you. Remember why you are here. Reconnect with your life purpose and soul mission. Stay true to yourself and loyal to your own reason for being. We can't play this human game of life without you. We value your presence on the planet and in our lives. Value yourself.

Respect Yourself

Hard Metal - Take your own advice. Be a leader in your own life. Take pride in having a good work ethic and doing good work in the world. Work on mastering your own admirable qualities. Teach others how to show YOU respect and model what it is to show respect to others.

Honor Yourself

Soft Metal - Like yourself enough to honor your own commitments to yourself and others. Be honest with yourself and impeccable with you word. Hiding and lying is a sure sign you know that your actions are not moral or ethical. Clear the air and get whatever it is off your chest. Telling a new story helps to rewire your thinking and rewrite the story you tell about YOU and your life.

Accept Yourself

Mountain Earth - Make peace with your past. Whatever it is that you have regrets about, create an opportunity for another experience, so now that you know better, you can do better. Take a new path up the same mountain. Or find a new mountain to climb. Having a good experience will help reframe past experiences and provide YOU with a new perspective so you can accept yourself.

Recognize Yourself

Fire - Acknowledge yourself for all you've done to move through the dark nights and into the light. See what it took for you to come through life's trials by fire. Show yourself some appreciation for what YOU have accomplished and recognize yourself for who you became in the process.

Give yourself permission to be authentic to the uniqueness of YOU! Don't try to avoid doing something you'll regret by adopting someone else's way of being in the world. Honor your energy and values, preferences and boundaries, process and pace. Find your own ways to be TRUE to YOU and live a life without regrets.

☯

For personal energy or relationship dynamics coaching, contact me! 

Or, read about my coaching packages.

If you’re ready to get professionally feng shui’d, read about Virtual Feng Shui Consultations.

To read more about The 8 Elements, subscribe to the Feng Shui Yourself blog. 

Learn about my other Inner Chi Mastery offerings. 

Subscribe to Feng Shui Yourself on Substack.

If you enjoyed this publication, please like, comment and share!