Not a Girl

The Infantilization of Millennials

Recently, the days of girlhood phenomenon has brought increased attention to a plethora of topics surrounding a variety of socially contagious trends related to sex and gender. The upside down world clowns cannot define a woman because they don’t have a degree in human biology from an accredited institution. Yet, the dictionary definition, “adult human female” and the biological fact of distinct male and female sex chromosomes, don’t seem to suffice.

Pussy hat wearing feminists who march for “women’s” rights cannot answer the question, “What is a woman?”, without being attacked by the mob and accused of bigotry or having a phobia. But a grown man with a failed acting career and a popular app on his phone can get the attention he seeks by playing dress up and portraying a persona based on the stereotypes of what a male millennial thinks girls are like.

He buys tampons to keep in his purse to offer to women he might meet in the adjacent stall of a ladies bathroom. He doesn’t buy them for himself because he knows he’s not a girl. But what he doesn’t realize is: girls don’t need feminine hygiene products, like tampons. Only women do.

While banning the CCP surveillance and social engineering app is not a cure for gender dysphoria, it might help with the social contagion aspect of this tragedy of errors. Confiscating Internet connected phones from impressionable young people might be a better solution to this growing epidemic of gender confusion, groomer manipulation and genital mutilation. If they couldn’t post their double mastectomy scars selfie; if they didn’t need content to upload every day for more likes, shares and follows, how many of these mentally ill and emotionally unwell people would cause themselves irreversible bodily harm or chronicle their masquerade through “girlhood”.

Vlogging and video-based social media platforms are to content creators and actors what blogging and self-publishing platforms are to writers and authors.

A Girl

What is a girl? According to the dictionary, a girl is a female child. And a child is a young human who has not yet gone through puberty. A girl, therefore is a pre-pubescent human female.

Women often refer to themselves as girls. There’s girl’s night out or lunch with the girls. There’s college girls only groups like university sororities and single sex only spaces like rooms for girls only.

Men will refer to women as girls, as well. They might introduce a woman they’re dating as their girlfriend. Gay men might be included in a group of female friends as one of the girls. And the ones in the beauty and fashion industry like to address their female clients as a girl.

Then, there’s the derrogatory use of the word girl. A servants or slave, no matter their age, were called a girl to keep them in the lowest possible status. New recruits in the military, especially in bootcamp, are often screamed at and called girls by superior officers as a from of emasculation.

Just a Girl

What’s interesting is how many adult women identify with being a girl. They read self-help books about washing their hair or not apologizing with the word girl in the titles. They re-watch movies with monologues that begin with “I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy…” or listen to songs on repeat with lyrics like, “I’m just a girl in the world…”

I guess if you’re “just a girl”, you never have to grow up. You never have to start adulting. You never have to mature and become a woman. You can just be the live-in girlfriend, cohabitate with your boyfriend for a decade and never get married or become a wife. You can prevent pregnancy, avoid childbearing and delay motherhood indefinitely with chemical birth control.

That Girl

Then, there’s the viral “that girl” trend. You know the millennial poster girl who has a picture perfect Instagrammable life with a certain popular aesthetic, a trendy apartment, a beach body and a fashionable designer brand wardrobe. She vlogs about her early morning routine, complete with journaling, meditation and a workout. She shows you her outfit of the day, her grocery haul and her skin care routine. She feels “all the vibes” and thinks everything is “super cute”. She wears multiple rings on her fingers and highlighter on the tip of her nose. She makes green smoothies and eats avocado toast. She’s plant-based, a coffee addict and a personal growth junkie. She might have a boyfriend, is a “mom” to at least one pet and has no plans to ever have children. She’s a highly productive #girlboss who’s sold her soul to the algorithm, prostituted herself online, monetized her private life and is living the dream, hawking wares for corporations for pay-per-click affiliate commissions.

Mean Girls

The mean girl gang tends to be a middle and high school phenomena, that sadly can carry over into adulthood. Very cliquey, mean girls tend to start and spread rumors about others who aren’t in their cool girl club. These malicious gossip girls like to criticize other people’s looks and brag about their own social, economic and relationship status. Highly immature, they engage in this behavior of putting others down to make themselves feel better. For more on why some women use criticism to disempower others, both men and women, I recommend Understanding Women by Alison Armstrong.

Girl Boss

The girl boss is another strange iteration of this infantilization of women. You’d think female entrepreneurs and business women would want to be taken seriously. Instead, they refer to themselves as a young child trying own and operate a successful and profitable business. Could this personal identification be the result of an unhealed trauma from being called bossy as a girl? Or, is it the expression of a desire to be on top but also the one getting fucked? Or maybe, the woman who calls herself a girl boss, does want to own her own business but lacks the confidence to actually succeed in competition with her male peers or the mature women in her field. So, she’s intentionally self-deprecating, downplaying her womanly wisdom and choosing not to embody her feminine power. Then, in case she doesn’t succeed, it wasn’t her fault. She’s just a girl. And girls just wanna have fun!

Pick Me Girl

This one is so fake. At least the other “girls” are trying to be something that has value, like “that girl” being healthy and wealthy or the “girl boss” owning a profitable business and living her life on her own terms. But the attention seeking “pick me girl” has an unhealthy obsession with needing validation from men. She tries to be different and “not like other girls”. She’ll start doing things guys do to impress them and get them to want to hang out with her. She likes to brag about having lots of guy friends and how drama free those relationships are compared to female friendships. For those who genuinely love online gaming, skate parks and dirt biking, it’s great to have friends to do those activities with. But to take up a sport or express an interest in something just to find male-only friends is disingenuous. And it seems like another version of Wendy and the Lost Boys.

Stay-At-Home Girlfriend

One of the newest trends is the stay-at-home girlfriend. Basically, a he picked me but doesn’t want to marry me “that girl”, except she’s so well kept she doesn’t have to work. Or, a trad wife, but without the official monogamous commitment, legal protections and tax incentives that a marriage certificate provides. This embrace of traditional roles in romantic relationships starkly contrasts with the criticism, condemnation and abandonment of stereotypical gender-based roles. Honestly, this girl sounds like the modern equivalent of a courtesan or mistress combined with a live-in housekeeper or maid, enabling men to get their sexual and domestic needs met without actually making any commitments or taking on any responsibility. It might seem like the dream, to trade sex for a free place to live. But men tend to get bored and there’s always more where these girls come from.

Not Like Other Girls

I’m not like these other girls. And it’s not because I’m not stuck in adolescence. It’s not because I will never make a video about what I eat in a day. I’m not like other girls, not because I don’t need something to blame a business failure on. It’s not because I have no interest in playing beer pong and pool or because I don’t need someone to shack up with and pay my bills.

I’m not like other girls because…I’m a woman, not a girl.

And neither are these men appropriating girlhood or the women who refuse to grow up.

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Pearls of Wisdom is a personal blog of the wisdom writings of Dara Eden that fall outside the realms of feng shui, The 8 Elements and her other personal energy work. Established in 2014, the blog is an expression of her highest values: Sovereignty, Truth, Wisdom & Inner Peace. It’s devoted to increasing awareness, expanding consciousness, bringing knowledge, sharing innerstandings and offering wisdom to the sovereign souls inhabiting the Earth.

Dara Eden is a writer and wisdom keepHER. The name, Dara, means “pearl of wisdom”. Pearls are formed when a microscopic irritant, like a grain of sand, embeds itself within the soft tissue of a shelled mollusk. To protect itself, the oyster or clam covers the invading gritty particle with concentric layers of iridescent crystalline calcium to form treasures, pearls of great beauty and worth. Gifts of the sea, pearls are the oldest known gem and the only gem that does not need to be cut, shaped or polished. Pearls are associated with elegance and luxury and are a symbol of mystery and purity. Pearls represent priceless knowledge, the rare wisdom that begins as a tiny, random, common irritant.