The personal feng shui elements are so misunderstood. People are either misinformed or uninformed. Or just making random guesses. 
 
Recently, someone who claims to be a feng shui master, said in a social media post that guilt is associated with the Earth personal element. No differentiation between Mountain Earth and Mother Earth, just Earth. And no explanation as to why she thinks that is the dominant emotion for the Earth element. 
 
(You can read about default emotions of Guilt & Shame in the Soft Metal annual personal energy guide.)
 
And all of these personality tests, questionnaires and checklists that are supposed to help you determine your personal element, make it your responsibility to identify yourself and others. Basically guess. This method, popularized by the self-help industry, isn't based on the repeatable earth science of feng shui. And it makes it that much more confusing for people, leaving it up to their own interpretation and failing to provide any guidance about what to actually do to honor their new self-identified personal energy.
 
Take Mother Earth for example. Mother Earth is commonly assumed to be loving, nurturing and self-sacrificing - like a mother. Don't get me wrong, I know some Mother Earth women who love their children and are good mothers. I also know Mother Earth men and women who are serial monogamists, happily married or are in a committed relationship and don't want children, or want the children they have. (Case in point: my first husband.)
 
Here's the thing: the completion number for Mother Earth elements is 2. They are looking for and find partnership, "early and often". They do show love but they expect the unconditional love they think they deserve no matter what. They will "mother" people, and they're really good at serving up ample doses of tough love, as needed. 
 
Mother Earth elements tend to have both digestive and reproductive issues. In fact, many Mother Earth women have trouble conceiving and carrying their children to full term. They can suffer from painful and debilitating menstrual cycles, ovarian cysts, uterine fibroid tumors, endometriosis and complications during pregnancy, labor and birth. And their element's age is 19-24 and stage of development is young adulthood - too young to choose a good partner to last a lifetime and start having babies, as the brain is not fully developed until 25. 
 
So, while Mother Earth elements like partnership and marriage, being a parent is another story. Since sex tends to lead to having children, sometimes they become reluctant fathers and resentful mothers. Their focus is more on the committed relationship and not the kids. This can make their spouse feel like a single parent, all alone in raising children without the needed support of their husband or wife.
 
Recently, I read some of the reviews for a book about the Five Elements. One was by a woman who claimed "a quick muscle test method" indicated she was, "in the ancient Chinese five element system, an Earth element person". But like many of the uninitiated, she associated Mother Earth with motherhood and being motherly. She said, "I don't have children and never wanted them. I'm not the "earth mother" type...I have suffered from uterine fibroids, a typical [Mother] Earth ailment." So, she was happy to self-determine she was a Water element instead, by taking a personality test. Since I don't know her date of birth, I can't confirm she is a Mother Earth element based on the eight personal trigrams of feng shui. But, I'd say she described herself as a Mother Earth element quite well. And most likely is NOT a Water element. If you've read My Story, you'll know what I'm talking about.
 
Mother Earth is represented in the family by the wife and the woman of the house. The focus is on her marital status, not her parental status. In ancient China, the Mother Earth element referred more specifically to the mother-in-law, who tended to outlive her husband and would move in with her family, if she wasn't already part of the household in multi-generational family homes. So, while many women of childbearing age do become mothers, Mother Earth doesn't necessarily represent mothers or having motherly qualities. It represents the married woman or dominant female in the family who held a place of honor in the home and was to be shown her due respect, as the matriarch of the family. In feng shui, we call that woman a Mother Earth, but women take on many roles and are represented by many feminine archetypes besides "the mother". 
 
I have named the Mother Earth archetype, "The Lover". This element's Life Center is Love & Partnership. They like being coupled up, having a partner in life and business and being in a committed relationship or loving marriage. 
 
When consciously coupled, even one child exceeds their completion number. Often, a marriage will end after the birth of a first child or interference from a third party of any kind. Mother Earth elements do best in a romantic and sexual relationship with just one partner at a time. They might keep trading one for another all the way through their life, but they prefer not to take on the burdensome responsibility of the daily care and feeding, rearing and raising of children.
 

 
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Dara Eden

Dara Eden is The 8 Elements Master and the creator of The 8 Elements: Feng Shui for YOU! series of guides, blogs, classes and forthcoming books. It’s her application of feng shui principles to the personal energy of people, based on their personal feng shui element. With 25 years of experience in classical feng shui and private coaching, she offers her expert and unique perspective on how YOU can honor your personal energy and feng shui yourself!

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A Labor of LOVE