Author Journey | Journal Entry 04
Mountain Earth broke me. It broke me, vertebrae by vertebrae, piece by piece. Pulverized my bones to dust, as if they were dry and brittle. To blow away in the wind and find a new place to settle.
Yesterday I hit rock bottom. I broke down under the intense pressure to perform at high levels, the heavy weight of the burden to achieve great things with limited resources and the expectation of being a masterful manifestor of money and material things with little opportunity.
I was in really bad shape. Physically, I developed a migraine, something I normally only get when I'm being psychically attacked. Emotionally, I was just beside myself, watching the anxious thoughts overwrite my inner knowing that all is well. Mentally, I was stuck in an infinite loop of false and limiting beliefs I know to be untrue. Spiritually, I was done with being a soul in a body.
Fortunately, two beautiful Mountain Earth women had the generosity of spirit to hold space for me and put me back together last night. My soul sister took the time to talk with me while hiding out in her car between dinner and the rest of her evening with her family. From personal experience, she advised me on how to ease the pain behind my eyes and in my head with the contrast of the cold of an ice pack and the heat of a hot shower.
Immediately after that call, my Reiki Master sent energy healing and within the hour, the debilitating migraine had completely disappeared. She confirmed I don't have what sometimes feels like a money block. I just have a missing piece to the jigsaw puzzle of the big picture.
The Higher Octaves
As a Water element, being self-employed is the best fit for me. I like working for myself, setting my own hours and choosing how I spend my time, with whom and on what. And I've been able to create multiple streams of income. It's not always steady, but I've always been able to meet our basic needs, sometimes by minimizing expenses and other times by becoming a vibrational match to the amount of money I need to manifest.
But this year, with the "Three Killings" in my House of Water, and the Yellow Earth's obstacles and delays that completely block my flow, 2022 has been exceedingly challenging. It's affected my business and finances so much that I've been looking for remote work and applying for part-time jobs for the past two weeks.
My business is not financially successful enough to continue, especially as a single parent. There's just not enough interest in my guides, services and offerings. And being self-employed is just not financially secure enough for me to live well, plan for my future or provide for my children.
There have always been people who try to get something for nothing. I tend to attract those types. But this year, in addition to the slow down in businesses like mine, that aren't vital to basic life needs, the failing economy and inflation and the energy affecting my personal element has brought my business to a complete standstill. Mixed with the annual Yellow Earth energy, Water creates a pit of quicksand that I've fallen into and am working to pull myself out of.
Embodying Mountain Earth for the past few weeks, you'd think I'd benefit from the infinite abundance associated with this element. Instead, I've been experiencing the "love of money" syndrome that can become an unhealthy obsession. As a spiritual element who is not focused on the physical or values materialistic things, I tuned into what the higher octaves of the love of money might be. What came in meditation was the desire for support, something Mountain Earth embodies and provides for everyone else, but something they need to experience themselves in order to be in good shape.
You'll often hear Mountain Earth elements say they just want to have a comfortable living. Comfortable is a sensation in the body that confirms you're standing on a solid foundation, not rocky ground or sinking sand. It's being financially supported to the degree you know you have more than enough to meet your needs and the needs of your family. There's ease around paying monthly bills on time, paying credit card statements in full, making monthly deposits into savings accounts, purchasing property and making real state investments, having disposable income for things you'd like to have and do and the ability to give generously to others. It's not the personal prosperity and asset accumulation of Soft Wood or the net worth status and affluence of Hard Metal. It's access to resources and the wealth building you're constructing brick by brick and climbing step by step to the top of your mountain of gold.
The octave above the desire for support is ecstasy of manifestation. This energy is different from Soft Metal's Jedi mind tricks for being a magnet to money or Hard Metal's mastermind over matter. This is an embodiment of infinite abundance that manifests through an energetic match in frequency to that which you're placing your attention on and intending to bring into your physical experience.
The Abundance Ritual
Each morning I set intentions for my day. Yesterday morning, I set the intention to determine the gifts of this majestic element and find ways to take them with me. Create a touchstone that I could use in the future to effortlessly tap into this abundant energy. And anchor it in before embodying the next element.
The Abundance Ritual I created involves the infinity symbol and an afformation. The Law of Attraction prescribes positive affirmations, "fake it 'til you make it" statements formatted in the present tense, claiming an intention as true now. An example of this is, "I am rich". You're supposed to repeat these affirmations like mantras every day until you believe them and can manifest them into your reality. The trouble is, you don't believe it because when you look around it's not true for you...yet.
Afformations are questions, not statements. An example of this would be, "Why am I so rich?" Since your brain is wired to answer questions and solve problems, when you ask a question it immediately focuses on finding an answer and gets to work on finding creative solutions. This shifts your energy and brings awarenesses about what inspired actions you could take to bring your intention into your reality.
Another way to do this is to tell a story about when you manifested a desire or achieved a goal. In vivid detail, infused with great emotion, you talk about the experience of receiving your first big commission or making the last payment on your mortgage or writing a check in full for your dream car. My Reiki Master taught me about this manifestation method. To practice, start with "I remember when...".
You can add the infinity symbol to your afformation questions or remembering stories by drawing it with a pen, your fingers, arms in the air like a qigong movement or even your hips. Let me know in the comments what your experience with this abundance ritual is.
As with all the elements, I know this too shall pass. I subject myself and my life to the experience of embodying the personal energy of The 8 Elements. And take with me all the gifts that I can.
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