Not Seeking Attention

Honesty > Hypocrisy

Recently, a woman claimed that “the sharing of her raw feminine expression” is part of her process of self-reclamation. That a “woman’s expression” has been programmed to be viewed as attention seeking. And that she posts videos of herself pole dancing in almost nothing, not for validation, but to inspire other women…to enroll in her newest offering, of course!

I mean sex sells! And she knows it. So, definitely sign up if you too want to learn how to whore it up on Instagram, to reclaim yourself and bonus - inspire the other “girlies”. As if we don’t already have enough tits and ass on that platform. I mean what porn addicted man needs to pay for Only Fans when they can just follow all of the young women who post selfies in string bikinis for free on IG. Or, an M.D. who dresses like a stripper and films herself pole dancing in some performative demonstration of how audacious she is.

Would there be a way to encourage women to explore or express their sexuality by taking a pole dancing class, without leading with your own sexuality? Of course! It’s all about the lighting when you film and music when you edit, whether you’re wearing a leather thong or athletic wear.

And let’s not pretend that there’s anyone posting on social media who is not seeking attention. That’s literally the entire point! To get likes, views, comments, shares, followers or subscribers, so they can go viral and monetize their online presence with affiliate marketing, sponsored ads, paid partnerships or links in bios to their site or landing page.

That’s the only reason I’m on Instagram. To drive traffic to my website and provide links to my Substack publications. To promote my business offerings and writing. To announce my new digital products and services, packages and courses to potential clients who aren’t already on my email list. To attract new clients and customers, readers and paid subscribers.

Leading with your sexuality is cheap and common. Who is your ideal customer if you’re taking your clothes off to sell to them? And if you say you’re doing it for “yo damn self because you wanna”, then why do all of your followers know about your obsession?

People with self-respect lead with their intellect, knowledge, wisdom, expertise, common sense and genuine interest in providing valuable insights and information for people. Not bare butt cheeks and gyrating hips.

If you follow my work with The 8 Elements you may know about the element with the highest sex drive and the element that is the most likely to take up an interest in pole dancing. I know plenty of Mountain Earth people who get their sexual needs met without feeling the need to take their clothes off in public or express their sexuality on public platforms. They might talk about their sex life or even be obsessed with orgasms, but they aren’t actually posting porn. I follow a sex coach who does post porn on the daily and has announced that she’s in her “supercock” era, but she never puts her own sexuality on display for public consumption.

Soft Wood elements do like moving their hips and buttocks in gyrating and twerking motions. And they tend to be attracted to performing burlesque and striptease and taking belly dancing and pole dancing classes or teaching them. For more on this read, Soft Wood is All About That Bass from 2014, the last Soft Wood year.

Soft Wood elements also like receiving attention. And if they don’t get the attention they want, they’ll act in ways that get them negative attention. So, just as sex sells, negative attention can make a video go viral, skyrocket their engagement, attract thousands, if not millions of new followers overnight or fill their course. Just ask Pearly Things!

You know what they say, “no news is good news”. Which is why people who watch the news are fed a bunch of stories about all of the bad things that happened in the world that day. Like a car accident, people can’t look away. People will watch a police car chase or celebrity court case for hours.

What you lead with may not be what you are trying to draw attention to. But it’s what you’re using to get the attention you’re seeking. And what you choose to lead with reveals what you’re willing to sacrifice or be known for in order to get fame and fortune.

In addition to sexuality, one of the other things women tend to lead with are their children. The exploitation of children, especially by mommy vloggers, is a crime against children. A woman recently told me that she shares photos of her minor children on social media with “the best of intentions”. I didn’t ask what those intentions were or how curating her children’s online presence reflects having their best interest in mind. What I do know is that women whose sole or primary identity is wrapped up in being a mother, tend to violate their children’s privacy and jeopardize their safety, in exchange for validation from their followers and strangers on the Internet.

We know that BIG Tech is battling for our attention. But most people have become attention whores themselves. They spend hours of their life every day taking selfies, filming reels and writing captions. Why? For attention.

Social media has become such a huge part of life, but few people ever question or consider why they’re uploading and posting. What are you trying to draw attention to? Who are you targeting and trying to get attention from? And what are you leading with to receive that attention?

For entrepreneurs, social media has become essential to success. It’s where the public goes to consume content and get informed. People don’t read emails or visit websites anymore. I know I sure don’t! What they do is follow influencers and celebrities. So, if you’re not seeking attention on these apps, finding your ideal client can be much more challenging.

Best to just be honest about what kind of attention you’re seeking, why you’re seeking that attention and who you want paying attention to you. Be intentional about what you’re leading with when seeking that attention. And stop claiming you’re not seeking attention.

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Pearls of Wisdom is a personal blog of the wisdom writings of Dara Eden that fall outside the realms of feng shui, The 8 Elements and her other personal energy work. Established in 2014, the blog is an expression of her highest values: Sovereignty, Truth, Wisdom & Inner Peace. It’s devoted to increasing awareness, expanding consciousness, bringing knowledge, sharing innerstandings and offering wisdom to the sovereign souls inhabiting the Earth.

Dara Eden is a writer and wisdom keepHER. The name, Dara, means “pearl of wisdom”. Pearls are formed when a microscopic irritant, like a grain of sand, embeds itself within the soft tissue of a shelled mollusk. To protect itself, the oyster or clam covers the invading gritty particle with concentric layers of iridescent crystalline calcium to form treasures, pearls of great beauty and worth. Gifts of the sea, pearls are the oldest known gem and the only gem that does not need to be cut, shaped or polished. Pearls are associated with elegance and luxury and are a symbol of mystery and purity. Pearls represent priceless knowledge, the rare wisdom that begins as a tiny, random, common irritant.