Love Over Fear

On Choosing to BE Love

To live from love or to live from fear? That’s the question people ask themselves every day.

The reminder to choose love over fear has become a socially accepted concept written about in self-help books. It’s a popular ideology talked about in blogs. It’s a trendy phrase frequently shared via social media. #loveoverfear even has its own hashtag. 

Love vs. Fear has become a central theme of the modern day spiritual seeker’s syllabus that they carefully teach themselves and others. It’s become the mantra for a generation of disillusioned people who have been let down by their parent’s patriarchal religion or hurt by the haters, societal belligerent bullying and cruel shaming. It’s become a core belief that the new agers, the non-denominational and even non-religious people have fully embraced and promoted ad nauseam within their own spheres of influence.

The intention behind this idea, that we have a choice, is good. Self-help gurus and well-meaning friends, life coaches and mothers alike want to encourage you to face your fears and overcome them. They don’t want anything you might perceive as a setback or hindrance, get in the way of you being successful and living a fulfilling and happy life. They want you to do what you love and create a life you love.

We live in a world defined by duality, the polarity of opposites. Heaven and earth, up and down, north and south, black and white, male and female, good and evil, right and wrong. Christian religions teach their converts and congregants to say prayers about: “on earth, as it is in heaven”. Secular religions teach their members about: “as above, so below”. In relationships we are told: “opposites attract”. In feng shui we know: “yin balances yang”.

So it’s only natural to believe what we have been carefully taught by all of these religious doctrines and non-religious belief systems. That everything has an opposite. And it’s easy to jump to the conclusion or accept that the opposite of love is fear.

The problem with this theory is that fear is not opposite of love. Hate is. You could also say that the opposite of love is a lack of love for the self and others. Or, even that to be unloving is the opposite of being loving. But what I know is that, love is what’s true and fear is a lie.

Like control, fear is an illusion. Like anxiety, False Evidence Appearing Real is an unexamined thought life. Like a beLIEf, it’s a programmed false doctrine. Like worry, it’s you imagining something that you don’t want to happen. Like spiritual bypassing, it’s you trying to avoid feeling unpleasant emotions.

Like manipulation, fear is you trying to get what you think you want. And it’s you trying to avoid getting what you think you don’t want. Like threats, it’s you trying to take advantage of a situation to serve your own needs and desires. Like ultimatums, it’s you trying to control other people’s responses or reactions and ultimately their choices and behaviors. 

Fear is you trying to outthink and outsmart your Higher Self. It’s you trying to save yourself from an experience, designed by your Higher Self, to give you an opportunity to learn a life lesson, to grow as a person and develop as a soul. It’s you denying your true magnificence as an amazing creator. It’s you forgetting who you really are.

Fear is you not trusting the process. It’s you not loving what is. Because what is, is what’s true. And what you fear, are all of your untrue thoughts about what is.

Fear also stands for Forget Everything And Run. Like anger, fear can be useful. Fear is built in as a protective mechanism to save our life. While anger can put us into fight mode, fear can put us into an automatic and instinctive flight mode so we can escape danger and survive to live another day.

On a higher frequency, fear can inspire us to Face Everything And Rise. Fear can signal an opportunity to overcome our own false or limiting beliefs. It’s a chance to choose not to let our fears dictate our life, our behaviors, or our actions or inactions. And make better or wiser choices in spite of our fears.

So, in those more nuanced contexts, fear is not something to choose love over. Fear is essential to survival. And it can be a catalyst for personal growth.

Which brings us to love.

They say, “All you need is love. Love is all you need.” The Beatles made this lovely sentiment quite popular in the ’60’s. Since then, people have realized that this very attractive and simplistic idea is not true. Men and women get married to people they love only to divorce them years later. Many of them still truly love the person they married but are willing to admit that love just wasn’t enough to stay together. And you can truly love someone, even unconditionally, like a mother does a child, and at the same time, not like who they are being or what they are doing.

A seemingly contradictory statement is closer to the truth: Love is all there is; but love is not all you need. So, if love is all there is, why is love not all you need? Even though we are capable of unconditional love and deserve to be loved unconditionally; we are human. We have physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual, sexual, social and financial needs, that all the love in the world cannot meet.

Love is the Truth. True love is a constant; it doesn’t have an off button. Universal love is eternal; it’s always present, everywhere, in all things. Divine love is the unseen energy holding all of the atoms, molecules and matter together in all its glorious forms.

Love is who you really are. You ARE Love. Love is who you can BE! Love is who you get to be if you choose to be an expression of it.

Earth is a free will zone. We get to choose how we live and what we create for ourselves to experience. The choice however, is not between love and fear. The choice is embodying who you really are or not.

To BE LOVE? Or, not to be love? That’s the real question.

Choose to embody love. Choose to express love. Choose to BE Love. Choose to be the love you want to see in the world. Choose to be who you really are. Choose to be YOU!

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Pearls of Wisdom is a personal blog of the wisdom writings of Dara Eden that fall outside the realms of feng shui, The 8 Elements and her other personal energy work. Established in 2014, the blog is an expression of her highest values: Sovereignty, Truth, Wisdom & Inner Peace. It’s devoted to increasing awareness, expanding consciousness, bringing knowledge, sharing innerstandings and offering wisdom to the sovereign souls inhabiting the Earth.

Dara Eden is a writer and wisdom keepHER. The name, Dara, means “pearl of wisdom”. Pearls are formed when a microscopic irritant, like a grain of sand, embeds itself within the soft tissue of a shelled mollusk. To protect itself, the oyster or clam covers the invading gritty particle with concentric layers of iridescent crystalline calcium to form treasures, pearls of great beauty and worth. Gifts of the sea, pearls are the oldest known gem and the only gem that does not need to be cut, shaped or polished. Pearls are associated with elegance and luxury and are a symbol of mystery and purity. Pearls represent priceless knowledge, the rare wisdom that begins as a tiny, random, common irritant.