Netiquette

Proper Etiquette for the Chronically Online

I don’t always write comments. But when I do, I publish them on Substack.

In all my years on social media, I’ve almost never left a comment beyond a few heartfelt congratulations. Because call outs get deleted…repeatedly. Corrections trigger defensiveness instead of retractions or clarifications, edits or revisions. And criticisms attract personal attacks instead of inspiring thoughtful consideration. My version of fact-checked “community notes” are not appreciated.

But someone has to address the craziness going on in the world!

So, instead of posting a comment under a video or image and caption, I write a post of my own. And now that I seldom ever post on IG, I write an entire blog and publish it on Substack.

Because, honestly, that’s the most appropriate way to express your thoughts, opinions and interesting pov anyway. Especially if they tend to be critical or controversial like mine often are. That way people aren’t forced to read something negative about their content or conduct “in their own house”. If they want to know what people think, they have to actively go look for it.

Comments, direct messages and tags on social media are intrusive. It was designed that way...intentionally. Even if we have notifications turned off, social media apps show us the numbers of unseen likes or unread comments and DMs. Because they want us to spend more and more time fully engaged on these apps. And that can make social media annoying, a chore and something to dread instead of look forward to. So, some people choose to turn off comments, close their DMs and block tags and even certain repeat offenders to avoid legit feedback, rude remarks and everything in between. Which means they also don’t get to read the positive feedback, expressions of appreciation and encouraging comments.

Best just to unfollow the crazy people with pronouns in their bio and keep your thoughts on your own platforms. That’s what I do. In fact, before starting my Substack account a year ago, I would write almost daily on Facebook and eventually Instagram. Now that I have Substack and no word limit, I can turn what would have been a brief comment or short caption into a full blog. And as a writer, I prefer the long form option on this platform.

Two examples of past experiences with leaving comments on social media are: Womb Hate, published on my website and Not Normal published here on Substack.

Which brings me to what inspired this blog.

Recently, I published a blog on Feng Shui Yourself, called The Return the gods. Another Substack writer left a comment promoting his writing. I found that very odd. And inappropriate.

Internet etiquette is something people with social media accounts need to learn and practice. I remember when someone I didn’t know, started leaving comments on my personal Facebook page, promoting her sound bath business under my posts. I told her it was inappropriate to do that and she acted like she didn’t know that wasn’t ok.

So, if you’re not sure about proper etiquette on the Internet, consider the following recommendations.

Netiquette

On the Internet:

• Don’t steal. Plagiarism is a felony.

• Don’t lie. And if you get something wrong, retract and correct.

• Don’t say anything online you wouldn’t say in person.

• Don’t post videos, photos, stories or any content about minors.

• Keep your critiques of other people and their work on your own platforms.

• Provide citations with links, whenever possible.

• Credit the original content creator.

In the comment section:

• Make sure your comment is relevant to the post.

• Make a statement, share a thought or ask a question.

• Express appreciation, give positive feedback or leave an encouraging word.

• Don’t be rude. You can disagree, just be respectful.

• Don’t use all capital letters, short code texting or emoticons.

• Proofread and edit your comment before posting it.

• Don’t promote yourself, your business, your website or your blog in the comment section of the work of another creator, business owner or writer.

Before commenting, ask:

• What is my intention for commenting?

• Would I be happy for people I know to read my comment?

• Will my comment negatively affect me?

• Will my comment negatively affect someone else?

Before commenting, think and ask yourself:

T = Is it true?

‍H = Is it helpful?

‍I = Is it inspiring?

‍N = Is it necessary?

‍K = Is it kind?

In the comments below, share a netiquette guideline you follow for your online presence.

Stay courteous, my friend.

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Pearls of Wisdom is a personal blog of the wisdom writings of Dara Eden that fall outside the realms of feng shui, The 8 Elements and her other personal energy work. Established in 2014, the blog is an expression of her highest values: Sovereignty, Truth, Wisdom & Inner Peace. It’s devoted to increasing awareness, expanding consciousness, bringing knowledge, sharing innerstandings and offering wisdom to the sovereign souls inhabiting the Earth.

Dara Eden is a writer and wisdom keepHER. The name, Dara, means “pearl of wisdom”. Pearls are formed when a microscopic irritant, like a grain of sand, embeds itself within the soft tissue of a shelled mollusk. To protect itself, the oyster or clam covers the invading gritty particle with concentric layers of iridescent crystalline calcium to form treasures, pearls of great beauty and worth. Gifts of the sea, pearls are the oldest known gem and the only gem that does not need to be cut, shaped or polished. Pearls are associated with elegance and luxury and are a symbol of mystery and purity. Pearls represent priceless knowledge, the rare wisdom that begins as a tiny, random, common irritant.