Not Ideal
The Necessity of Business Policies
Recently, a client shared that she admired my “business savvy”. I’m not sure what she meant by that and I didn’t ask. I can only imagine she was referring to my having to state the obvious about common sense business practices on my new website. You know, like payment, refund, cancellation and termination of service policies.
One of the first things we’re taught in B-School is to define our ICA, or ideal customer avatar. In Module 1, Marie Forleo calls it “one of the the most crucial exercises in all of B-School”. We’re told to list “age, income, gender, marital status, race, sexual orientation, ability, industry, worldview, values, beliefs, character traits, lifestyle, hobbies, and interests”.
Unfortunately, over the years I’ve had many less than ideal experiences with clients. And not for ANY of the supposedly essential criteria mentioned above. Decades of disappointing interactions led me to have to create some business policies and then sadly, have to actually enforce them. All of which were inspired by actual situations with clients.
While the focus of B-Schoolers is placed on what people might look like or what their life or bank account might look like, ethical standards of conduct are completely left out. Maybe business people think that courteous behaviors and basic communication skills are just a given and don’t need to be included or even mentioned. Maybe spiritual people, whose ideal customers are other highly conscious people, think that honoring boundaries, showing respect and expressing appreciation are just built into their moral code and the foundational principles they live by.
But common sense and common courtesy are no longer common. And for me, especially after decades of working with the public, elementary manners and good communication are at the top of the list of qualities I require to enter into and continue a business relationship. So much so, that I’ve begun to doubt my ability to attract clients who are good humans with good manners and are capable of making and keeping their appointments with me.
Who I am and what I do narrows my potential clientele to a very minute sector of the population. It prequalifies them for me. But what’s been interesting is to see how the people who do resonate with me and my work conduct their business with me.
Trying to get something for nothing is more common than you’d think. One woman actually admitted that the purpose of her email was to get a free feng shui consultation for her apartment. I directed her to the free information in the form of a decade of blogs on my website. She complained that the email campaign she signed up for made her feel like she was being sold to. It was a six week series on decluttering, the first step in feng shui that is 100% free to do yourself. Then, she referred other people to me who also had no intention of paying for a consultation or even purchasing my annual DIY Feng Shui Guide.
Cancelling at the last moment is also very common, especially with energy work. People just aren’t ready to change their space or their life, work on themselves or heal. In the beginning of my career, I would have to get a sitter for my young children when I had a feng shui consultation. I remember one woman calling to cancel just as I was getting in my car to drive to her place of business. Now, I request payment at the time of booking and no longer do on site consultations. Just last month, a woman who often misses and reschedules her sessions, cancelled her monthly coaching call one hour before the appointed time. I had to add a new termination policy for multiple incidents of missed appointments and last minute cancellations.
The most recent example is a woman who signed up for my Monthly Reiki Membership on the 9th of the month and cancelled on the first day of the following month. She signed up for the family plan of three sessions per month. When she cancelled her monthly membership 23 days later, I asked her if she had intended to be a monthly client when she asked for the monthly family rate. I mean, monthly means monthly. But why pay full price when you can get 3 sessions at the deeply discounted monthly rate and then cancel immediately, right? People are unbelievable!
Over the years I’ve been told that, given the spiritual nature of my work, I shouldn’t charge anything and work for free. I’ve been told my digital guides should be free. I’ve been told I charge too much. I’ve been told to offer shorter sessions, like 15 minutes, so I can charge smaller fees. I’ve been asked to do wellbeing check-ins and connect with deceased loved ones without any compensation for my time and energy. I’ve been asked for the “friend” price. I’ve been asked for custom home remedies by a feng shui client who chose not to pay for her annual update and only purchased the generic annual do-it-yourself guide.
Then, there’s those who think I should never raise my rates and that they should be able to set my fees themselves. When I raised my in-person session fee by $5, I was told by a Reiki client she couldn’t afford it and wouldn’t book unless I honored my previous session rate. When clients have referred their friends to me, they tell them I charge half, and in one case, ten percent of the fees clearly published on my website. When I offer $20 discounts for monthly sessions, I’ve been asked if the monthly member price is half price instead of $20 off. When a client paid for her AstroMap, she expected me to provide the AstroMap for her adult daughter as well, even though she didn’t qualify as an add-on family member. When another client realized she wanted her Life Purpose Guide after reading her Life Path AstroMap, she asked me to write her custom report for one-third of what I charge.
Then, there’s the people who think communication is optional and I’m an afterthought, if that at all. People reach out via email, text or direct messaging apps seeking free information and when I answer their questions, they don’t even bother to reply with a simple “thank you”. One client decided to take her kids to the park instead of keeping her appointment with me and never bothered to let me know, just missed her appointment and expected to be able to reschedule at her earliest convenience. Apparently, it was just too nice of a day not to be outside and taking a moment to text me was just too inconvenient. Another one recently asked for a distance session, never sent her payment and then when I texted at the appointed time, when she finally replied, admitted she had forgotten.
I am generous and giving and people take advantage of that instead of appreciating that about me. I’ve set up my life so that I can make myself available to be of service, an “on call” status of sorts. I’m here to contribute what I know and am compelled to share, especially about The 8 Elements, with whomever is genuinely interested and think they might benefit from this body of knowledge. My obsession with The 8 Elements and my compulsion to share has gotten me into trouble more than once, resulting in intellectual property theft, five years ago.
When my children were little, I did hundreds of hours of coaching for someone over the course of more than six years, at no charge. I figured she would repay me in kind or express her appreciation in some way when she was able to. (I know, I know, how naive, trusting and stupid of me.) This woman asked for my time, expertise and valuable insights on a weekly basis without ever paying a single dollar, even though she knew I was a divorced, single mother with no financial support of any kind. (Since then, I learned about the karmic debt that creates and no longer give without an energy exchange.)
Her expression of appreciation? Announcing on a group call ten years later that she decided she’s not the personal element based on her date of birth, but the one she’d rather be. To explain the conclusion she came to on her own, she chooses to believe that The 8 Elements work the way “cusp” signs do in popular astrology, even though, according my astrologer, cusp signs are not a thing and a common misconception. And this woman’s birthday is over two months prior to the Solar New Year in February. If cusp elements were a thing, my January birthday, which is much closer to the annual energy shift, would make me a Mother Earth, which I’m not.
Having owned and operated my solopreneur business for nearly 20 years, I could share many more examples, including in person energy healing sessions. One client didn’t show up, didn’t call or text, rescheduled and then also failed to show up to their rescheduled appointment. That was two sessions I could have offered the people on my waiting list. Other clients made appointments to make sure they got in to see me when I was in town. Then, they canceled at the last minute when they realized they couldn’t pay for their sessions, but not in enough time for someone else to book those session times.
Publishing my business policies on my new website is not a sign of business savvy. It’s evidence of the fact that I’ve lost my faith in humanity. To be moral, decent, considerate. It’s not savvy. It’s sad.
When defining your ideal client, it’s as important to know what you don’t want as much as what you do. For me, that took lots of disappointing experiences because I had some uncommunicated expectations. People just aren’t raised with good morals and values, ethics and manners anymore. They need some re-parenting. Or, in this case, some clearly defined business policies that I, on occasion, have to enforce.
My ideal client doesn’t have a specific age range, marital status or tax bracket. While I do tend to attract conscious people who value honoring themselves and others, for some that hasn’t extended to their business dealings with me.
My ideal client is a sovereign woman who resonates with me and my work. She doesn’t need me to spell out how to treat me or my body of work with genuine respect and sincere appreciation. She pays full price and in full at the time of booking her session. She shows up to her session on time. She appreciates my generosity of time and level of expertise. She refers other sovereign women in her life who she thinks might benefit from my offerings.
And for me to attract that level of consciousness and consideration, I’m going to have to clean up or shift my own frequency to be a vibrational match to only my ideal client. Ideally, I wouldn’t need business policies that I have to enforce. But for now they are in place, because unfortunately, clients are not ideal.
It’s one thing to be able to define your ideal customers and quite another to actually work with enough of them to have a financially successful business. If you own a business and have figured out how to attract your ideal client, comment below! I’d love to know how to uplevel this area of my business. And write a follow up blog about my experiences working with all of my amazing clients.
If you enjoyed this publication, please like, comment and share!
🫧
Pearls of Wisdom is a personal blog of the wisdom writings of Dara Eden that fall outside the realms of feng shui, The 8 Elements and her other personal energy work. Established in 2014, the blog is an expression of her highest values: Sovereignty, Truth, Wisdom & Inner Peace. It’s devoted to increasing awareness, expanding consciousness, bringing knowledge, sharing innerstandings and offering wisdom to the sovereign souls inhabiting the Earth.
Dara Eden is a writer and wisdom keepHER. The name, Dara, means “pearl of wisdom”. Pearls are formed when a microscopic irritant, like a grain of sand, embeds itself within the soft tissue of a shelled mollusk. To protect itself, the oyster or clam covers the invading gritty particle with concentric layers of iridescent crystalline calcium to form treasures, pearls of great beauty and worth. Gifts of the sea, pearls are the oldest known gem and the only gem that does not need to be cut, shaped or polished. Pearls are associated with elegance and luxury and are a symbol of mystery and purity. Pearls represent priceless knowledge, the rare wisdom that begins as a tiny, random, common irritant.
