Transition

I recently took pause to contemplate the inherent and perceived value of my work. To consider its various applications and inevitable effects, once it is out in the world. To clarify my reasons for sharing my observations, pattern recognitions and insights. To concentrate my energy on authentic self-expression. To create some space for a little self-indulgent artistic license.

To remind myself that even this depth of understanding cannot change anything or anyone.  Nor is it intended to.  That it can only provide some structural and ornamental framework for our lives.  Some explanation for our choices.  Some comprehension of our relationships.

To control my serious thoughts and intense desire to give up. To quell my doubts that I will finish, that I can finish. To forgive myself for not being done or closer to it being out of my hands and into the hands of readers.  To show myself some compassion.

To release myself from the obligation to make a written work presentable enough to give to the world. To give myself permission to be in appreciation of the gift it is to me. To know it for me, to understand it and honor it for me. To let it be a contribution to me, my energy, my life and my relationships. To be an expert in it for my own personal well-being without having to produce a marketable and profitable product.

To follow through on promises without breaking promises to myself. To be in service of the work without becoming a martyr. To be of service to my coaching clients and subscribers, fans and followers without sacrificing my integrity and standards of excellence. To overcome dangerous bouts of procrastination and deadly expectations of perfectionism without dishonoring my process. To recommit myself to making a contribution to shifting an existing paradigm of celebrating conformity and glorifying equality.

To be honest with myself about my limits. To recognize the toll, taking on the energy of the elements has on my well-being…body and mind, heart and soul. To allow each personal energy to endow me with their gifts, impress upon me their particular triumphs and tribulations and leave me with experiences of literally walking in another person’s shoes. To take each personal element off and clear the foreign energy patterns from my auric field. To heal and restore my own soul and then weave those vibrant and variegated hues into my coat of many colors.

To question the purpose, the presentation and the premise of the personal elements. To conclude that the work is worth pursuing and completing. To rekindle my enthusiasm for detailing a body of foundational knowledge I have mastered. To continue, despite false starts and missed deadlines, delayed flights and failures to launch. To conjure up the resolve to generate enough momentum and ride another wave before becoming beached on some distant shore or washed up on an unmapped island.

To find a way through the maze of thoughts and phrases, the tangled web of examples and quotations. To be aware of the power of words and their meanings, the use of vocabulary and the resonate quality of impactful communication. To craft sentences with skill and flow, beauty and truth. Break it all down. Abandon the profiles for a while. Focus on the multi-faceted mutually inclusive aspects of the elements that create rooms for them to dwell in, both individually and together, in couples and trios, teams and networks, entourages and congregations

To acknowledge my desire to decorate a house without walls. To jump ahead to finish work and finishing touches. Facilitating a greater understanding of nuance and notation, tone and timbre. Applying Feng Shui For YOU! to specialized fields like birth and early childhood education and new models for careers and romantic relationships.

To be encouraged by my biggest fans and appreciated by even those new to my work.  To not be too disappointed by the naysayers or deterred by the criticisms from my peers.

Many of the responses to this work have been positive. People seem to be empowered by their new levels of understanding of their unique personal energy. They feel seen and understood, known and accepted. Their profiles articulate and confirm what they knew to be true about themselves and others but couldn’t put into words or explain. They become inspired to honor their energy and take up their own study of the personal elements.

People seem to be inspired by their new depths of awareness of the dynamics within their relationships. They get closure, questions answered and curiosities satisfied. They first seek to understand, then to be understood. They get clarity about their needs, their uncommunicated expectations and the contribution people can be.

Other responses though have created cause for concern. I have seen incorrect determinations of personal elements for family and friends. I have seen people dismiss certain behaviors and tendencies in the same nonchalant and permissive vein as "boys will be boys". I have seen people accuse others of the seemingly negative expressions of elemental methods and manners and sentence them to a life of some ill-fated destiny. I have seen people deny and become defensive of certain elements of their personal energy in order to avoid seeing the parts of themselves they hold in less esteem. I have seen people who are unwilling to see the positive aspects of what society has judged as wrong or bad and accused them of being unevolved, unenlightened or unconsciousness.

I have seen people placed in boxes and labeled, thinking that personal elements are limited solely to certain types of expressions, based on natural strengths and inherent weaknesses. That a personal element cannot choose to become more of a desirable quality or become better at a required skillset. That who you are is who you are. That personal growth in any area must be relegated to a desolate wasteland of resignation in which learning and unlearning is unnatural and unbecoming, unnecessary and unachievable.

The levels of interest and interaction are vastly varied. There are the people who follow Feng Shui For YOU! on social media, see the posts in their newsfeed, stalk and lurk or like and comment, read or keep on scrolling. There are the people who read the book excerpts and blog posts, sign up for my newsletter or subscribe to my blog. There are the people who browse through my website, read my bio and pin my logo to their board. The people who use my website to look up the elements for the people who come into their lives as part of their vetting process. There are the people who request their free personal element profile by email. The people who take a greater interest in applying the principles so they can honor their personal energy and relationship energy dynamics. There are the people who pay for personal energy and relationship coaching and the people who are waiting for the under $20 version of the work in hardcopy or digital download.

Each morning when I wake is another day to add more words to a blank page, more chapters to an awaited book. To add more insights to my own understanding, examples to share, quotes to highlight. To press on by pressing the keys of my backlight keyboard well into the wee hours of the night.

To focus on the love in this labor of love. To be aware of the ways in which this work will be misconstrued, misunderstood and misused. To hold space for it to grow and carry it to full term anyway. To know that it may not be perfect, only my best. To enter into labor and give birth anyway. To trust that it chose me and is choosing to come at this time. To open with each contraction and breathe through it. To push through, not resisting the urge with each cresting wave that crashes on the shore, bringing it closer to the end of one journey and the beginning of a new one. To realize that a short but intense period of self-doubt and fear of death, tears and terror is but a brief crisis that too shall pass. A stage in labor known as transition.

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